Suffixes

Lately I've been going over-board on suffixes and substitute words. Somehow when I don't have anything witty, unique or clever to add to a conversation, a suffix is a good substitute. Running out of intelligent adjectives to describe everyday situations, encounters or surroundings, happens to all of us. When that happens, a good suffix will do just fine. Abbreviations also serve as a good substitute for a small vocabulary quiver. Let me show you what I mean:

"bags"
One of the partners, Newell, at my accounting firm holds you in a steady gaze far beyond the point of normal eye contact upon finishing a sentence, so much so that you have a hard time finishing conversations with him. Just when you think you are wrapping up a quick convo by saying something like, "Ok, sounds good. I'll get right on that", he begins a 4 second absent staring contest and then nods his head in questioning and unsure approval. I am beginning to be entertained by the awkwardness and feel that "Newell-bags" is a good way to describe him.

"hatch"
This one is good for any reference to a hole. "I'm gonna kiss that girl right on her mouth-hatch" or "Opinions are like butt hatches, everyone has one but nobody likes it when you share it them" or "you dill-hatch"

"balls"
Hey Tyler-balls, be a pal and pass me that topical cream

"sac"
-pointing at the roll of clear plastic bags from the end of the produce stand while shopping for nuts next to the supermarket fruit- "excuse me sir, could you pass a nut-sac, these bulk walnuts look delicious".

"zees" and "b"
"Hey bro, will you pick me up some Prepzees-H? My b-hole is killing me", or
"maybe if I put down a little more of this protein shake while I'm in the tanning bed, I'll really part of the b, b & b club".

"P" or "d"
I'm such a fricken P, I don't dare to play a game of heads down nuts up.

Why is that d-bagger always disrespecting?


I need to stop using abbreviations and suffixes. It's too much of a fun habit.